You know, I'm always blown away with the sheer depth of joy that can be found within life's simplest moments in the life of a Nutritarian me. I think this is a beautiful and profound thing, so I hope that you don't mind if I ramble on a bit about a rather dear topic: loving yourself.
Before Nutritarian life was the only way for me, for years, decades even, I felt incomplete. Like something was wrong with me because I didn't look like the people on TV. Some words, Inadequate, hopeless, depressed, short changed metabolism wise. Nothing I did worked. Many times as a teenager I actually tried to simply stop eating until I (hypothetically) had become the ideal size. The modern diet simply would not allow me to achieve the visual representation of glowing good health that I coveted in the appearances of certain others. It was so hard, so emotionally draining as I would ride a low, resolve to change somehow, only to watch my resolve melt away like it were made of nothing but down feathers floating in a hurricane. Not pretty.
Enter, tonight. I'm going somewhere I promise. So I'm at a mall, having a beautiful night with my family. Today, I ate out with them, I had a big plate of steamed plain baked potatoes with lots of black pepper. It was divine! I consider that treat food, as potatoes aren't super nutrient dense compared to my usual fare. When we eat out I make do! Its been so long since I've tasted the food most people eat I simply don't desire it, and ordering what I do is no form of sacrifice but rather quite an indulgence. Anyhow, I digress.
So in the mall, as often happens in families with small children, we had a mad dash to the bathroom. So I accompany my little one to the room I used to dread (read: mirrors everywhere!) and headed in with an extra bounce in my step. I'm not gonna lie, I love mirrors! I was actually excited to see myself! Call it vanity, I call it well deserved self-love.
It gives me a warm fuzzy to look in the mirror and be utterly pleased with my appearance. It soothes my soul to leave behind the days of utter dread that would strike my heart and start up that all-too-familiar heart sinking feeling that came with knowing disappointment (even just a few seconds worth) was inevitably ahead, whether conscious or subconscious, a part of my old life every time I passed a mirror. Can you imagine the pain of clothes shopping? I avoided it! How sad it was.
That existence of indulgence that promised pleasure but delivered only pain ate me up, a real soul crusher. It makes such beautiful sense to eat foods that actually want to be eaten and love me back as much as I love them! My food nurtures my soul, feeds my spirit, liberates my heart and sets my mind ablaze with a passion I've seldom experienced at this intensity! Oh the love I feel when I see myself now! To know I eat all I want, anytime I want, I am always satisfied and never stuffed, and all that, to be blessed to look like this! Finally, the love and joy I feel everyday on the inside has manifested on the outside. Complete contentment, self-adoration, gratitude for just being me. Weird eh? Quite the contrast.
It's not vanity, it's the real blessing and reality of life available to EVERY human being on this planet, who embraces God's provision, the generous and symbiotic manna from Heaven, that which grows like magic from the Earth from next to nothing, into a plentiful harvest that not only fills us up but heals us, and caresses us molding our bodies and minds into the most beautiful and peaceful contented versions of ourselves as is humanly possible! It's simply marvelous to me, and tonight, I'm just so overwhelmed with the gratitude I feel for finding it.
Which part of my writing here represents where you are in life, in health and love? If you are still caught in the cruel cycle of infliction that is the Standard American Diet or Western Diet, and you truly don't want to be; if you are ready for a life changer, if you're sick and tired of this junk that addicts you and hurts you, I want to help you. Please, if you are truly ready to leave the old life of pleasure for pain behind, use the contact form on the right, and I'll help you through it. If it's your time for change, I want you to have it.
It is my true desire that everybody who wishes for freedom from food addiction and heart breaking body image issues be provided the way. I can't do it for you, but I can share how I get through challenging events, and answer specific questions here on the blog that pertain to your challenges. Lord knows I've been through it all! I've travelled internationally, had birthdays, learned a new way to have a truly blissful holiday season and more. It's been 5 1/2 years of Nutritarian learning for me. I'm ready to share it!
Tell me, my dear readers, what do you want to know? I want to be more active here, so let's do this! I'm listening guys!
In love and health,